Each year always starts the same for me. I would make a couple of new years resolutions, having good intentions, but find myself already giving up only after a couple weeks. I was always left feeling frustrated, guilty and like a failure. Not a great way to start the year.
I've never been able to keep any of my new year resolutions (or in fact any goals) that involved anything benefiting me. Getting fit, meditating more, practising yoga on a regular basis, making eating healthy normal, improving personal relationships. Even though I knew the goals I had set was good for me and would only make me feel good... I still couldn't keep at them. I thought it was just they way I was... unmotivated and lazy.
It was only recently, that I finally found out the real reason I've never achieved my goals. Many mothers can understand the love you have for your children is different than any other love you've ever experienced. You would do anything and everything for them so they can have the best opportunities for life.
Imagine if we had that some love we have for our children for ourselves? Would we do things differently? Would we make different choices? I have come to the conclusion that the answer to these questions is a resounding yes.
Self love isn't is easy concept. I grew up with the idea of loving yourself was a selfish act and was considered ugly. But little did I know that most of the 'self-love' I saw growing up wasn't love but in fact ego. This mix up has held me back more than I would ever know.
Yes, I want to get fit, make eating healthy normal, practice yoga regularly and maintain a meditation practice, but I won't be focusing on achieving these. I also won't be spending five minutes each morning in front of the mirror saying "I love you". This year I'm doing things differently. Instead, I'm going to let my actions and choices speak for themselves.
I believe that when we start making choices that come from love things start to change and slowly will have a domino effect in all areas of our lives. Things will change for the better without even really trying. So rather than seeing goals as a measure of self worth... just ask yourself when you need to make a decision "is this an act of self love?". If this concept sounds difficult... try making decisions like you are making them for some you love. Do whatever works for you now.
So, here's to self love. As airy fairy it may sound... I'm hoping this will be key to finally help me reach my goals I've never been able to achieve.